So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize