And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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