Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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