I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
where are you?
Hypothermia
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
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