her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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