Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
