can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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