How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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