when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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