I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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