do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
