great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just want nice things and good sex
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He? As in you personified your dick?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
