So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
