my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
