I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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