just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
