it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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