Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Someone signed my nipple.
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