Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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