Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
