im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
