i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
People in love make me want to vomit
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize