Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
