I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
