I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
