is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
