Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
