He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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