Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Randomize
