I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
