Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
