She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
