ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
