We won't sleep together?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
