Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
