The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
