Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Pooping to opera.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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