The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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