I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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