I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I will pee on everything he values.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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