I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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