youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
