so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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