And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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