I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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