So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
