All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
