if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
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