# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
