I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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