They should really pass out barf bags in church
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
