and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
