Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
