maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize