and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
