i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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