A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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