Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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