God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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