Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Randomize
