She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Slut skills are useful in every country.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
