tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
