Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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