Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
where does the pee come out of this thing
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
