From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
