Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Randomize
