You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
