Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize
