??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
