try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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