ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
We need a shit load of segways right now
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize