Need sex. Gaining weight.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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