Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize