8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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