You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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